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  • RulesofDadding

Hairstyles. Your choice or Theirs?

Updated: Feb 11, 2022

Monkey has always been great getting his hair cut, and luckily for us, has always found it quite relaxing and enjoyed the experience. Recently he’s said that he wants to grow his hair and for me that’s absolutely fine, after all it’s his hair and he makes the choice about how he looks but we do get the odd comment like “scruffy” “unmanageable” and even “gosh he’s looking like a hobo!” now those comments (even though sometimes, they are true) are always taken with a pinch of salt and even Monkey has learned to brush them off, but it got me thinking. For the sake of negative comments should we go against his wishes and get it cut or should we allow him the freedom to express himself?

So, I’ve been doing some research, when it comes to Monkey, I like to make informed decisions and make sure I’m not being too cavalier and saying “I never got a choice, and it never hurt me”

This is what I found out.

Choosing their own hairstyle give them a sense of self and helps them build their style– quite obvious really, I wouldn’t feel like me if my hair was a different colour!

It gives your child a sense of importance and belonging which is essential for building social relationships and for contributing to the world.

It allows them to become good decision-makers as they have the freedom to consider various options before choosing the one they feel is best.

Develops a sense of trust between parent and child – Afterall if you are trusting them to

make decisions as small as this, and are open to have a

conversation with them about it, then maybe they will trust you when they are older to come and discuss bigger issues.

Helps them navigate their gender identity and helps to build confidence– within the spectrum of gender identity there is many choices boys with long hair, girls with short and vice versa and many more, but regardless of this every parent wants their child to be confident.

It provides them with the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves which makes them resilient to external challenges.

In fact, quite a lot of studies that I have read have said that even pre-school children have strong opinions on what they want their hair to be like.

My opinion – let children be children if my kid wants rainbow hair, he can have rainbow hair as long as it’s done in a safe way and doesn’t go against school dress code (in term time)

If he wants his head shaved with funky lines in it that’s fine to. It will grow back.

As long as he is happy in his own skin. Afterall during school time the only way that a child can express themselves in amongst the sea of matching uniforms, is their hair.


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